A large sign appears across the back of the stage
indicating:
FLOWERS
FOR SALE
(These few words set the scene and the relationship
between the actors. The audience can concentrate on them and what they say.)
A man walks across the stage from left to right.
Halfway, he points to the sign and then to himself. He continues walking and
exits right.
Another man now enters left and pauses by the sign.
Instantly, the first man reappears, now dressed in the khaki coat of a garden
centre salesman.
SALESMAN: Can I help you, Sir?
CUSTOMER: Perhaps you may. (Peers over the back of the sign and starts idly looking for something.)
SALESMAN: What were you
seeking? A decorated bank, perhaps?
CUSTOMER: More. I need blooms in an elegant quatrain. What have you got?
(Pauses.) Have you any thyme?
SALESMAN: Half past ten.
CUSTOMER: No. I’m looking for
the thyme plant. Bushes of thyme.
SALESMAN: Certainly. Do you
want it wild or domesticated.
CUSTOMER: Wild if you’ve got
it. Any oxlips?
SALESMAN: We’ve all sizes. D’you
want the violets to go with them?
CUSTOMER: Yes please. I don’t
like limp ones, though, just nodding.
SALESMAN: Excellent! You’ll
have a memorable display. Do you want it canopied at all?
CUSTOMER: Good idea. Let’s
have it canopied over fully with lush woodbine.
SALESMAN: (Excitedly) I was
thinking of sweet musk-roses as well.
CUSTOMER: (Now also excited!)
And what about some eglantine?
(They hug each other in mutual congratulation.)
SALESMAN: Will you take the
flowers with you now, or do you want them delivered?
CUSTOMER: Send them to the
Wild Wood. Care of Titania.
(The customer strolls towards the exit left.)
SALESMAN: Sir! Sir! How will
you settle the bill, Sir?
CUSTOMER: Charge it to my
account. Charge it to Oberon.
Exit.
