You will recall that I told you of a new career opportunity which has come my way. It is with Karbrite plc – they are looking for additional staff to groom clients' cars. Well, a week or so ago I received I phone call from the people arranging the staff selection. My call was named Tracy.
Could I call around to Dalwych House on the New Broadway in an hour's time? She could fit me in at 3pm. I said I was uncertain (I didn't want to sound too amenable). A cold note entered her voice. "My records show that you are available and willing to work," she said. "Not necessarily with no notice at all," I protested. "Look," she said, "we haven't got time for all that nonsense. You want the job? So get your arse over here. You're getting extra personal investment as it is with your Pre-Employment Social Contact Counselling."
I arrived with 20 minutes to spare. At reception I asked to see Tracy. "Tracy who?" I was asked. I said I didn't know. Clearly, the receptionist was suspicious. She called on the phone for someone and, at the same time, told me that "there's a huge amount of Tracies on our staff".
I waited for half and hour during which he receptionist disappeared. Then, just as I was leaving, a large young woman of about 20 arrived. She was dressed, but only just, in a tight, bright, yellow business suit. She stood in the middle of the reception area, consulted a file, then called loudly: "Is there a Conrad here for Remedial Counselling?"
Since only she and I were there I knew she must be referring to me. She stalked off, waving me to follow. She led the way to a small cubicle, filled by a chair on either side of a small table. "Got to use this during the office moves. Take a seat," she said. She sat opposite me, studying her files.
Finally she looked up and said "I understand you've been on the phone earlier this afternoon asking about a new office which we're opening in Hastings. Let me explain to you. Ealing does not cover Hastings. They are completely different things. You are not even employed yet and already you're in breach of discipline."
I explained that I was unaware of any disciplinary code, to which she replied that it was still in the course of preparation. "It's application will be retroactive. But you're here for Skills Counselling . . ."
The phone rang. I had to stand and open the door to enable her to open it. "Tracy," she responded. Silence, and then she said "Well, I've got him here now. No, I can get rid of him. No. There's no commitment. Yes. I'll tell him. I'll get back to you."
She put down the phone and, turning to me, said "Don't bother to sit down. This interview must be deferred and when it is resumed it will be conducted by Sharon. I've been transferred to open our new office in Brighton. That'll solve your Hastings query."
And with a yellow flash, Tracy was out of there. I walked home, shaking my head – but the buzzing wouldn't stop.
Yours,
