I have now been to see the doctor to receive the cardiologist's report on my heart condition, among other things.
I had expected the report on my heart to be good, and so it was. "Heart condition perfect. No need for further treatment"!!
I was about to leave when my doctor motioned me once more into the chair. He said "As you know, we have been compiling data on your blood composition, liver and diuretic functions. While doing so we have identified strong and persistent traces of lupinary narcoma. You must be aware that this is a prohibited substance. Can you explain it?"
Of course I could, but I wanted to avoid implicating anyone else. I denied any knowledge of it, but he said he was obliged to report the matter. I would be contacted later.
I didn't realise that lupin seed possession was such a serious offense. It's only recently come on to the drug scene. I started sniffing with some friends from the pub. All they did was to crush the lupin seeds into a powder. We never went on to swallow the pills.
While the effects were quite profound and long-lasting, there was hardly a narcoma. I just felt the usual peaceful pleasure of regarding the new harmonic patterns in the world about me. Like most others, when I was high I wore a constant cheerful smile. They do say that lupin dust leads to happiness delusion, and so it was with me.
Of course, every drug attracts its own aficionados, and that's what happened with me. I started to knock around with some fairly dubious people – park employees, garden nursery staff and the like. I began to hang around outside Kew Gardens dealing in mature merchandise. We were all there most mornings wearing seraphic grins. It was a short step to pill popping. Then I got careless and was BANNED FROM KEW. Now I just raid people's gardens, a lone lupin hunter and I await the police call.
I suppose there is a lesson to be learnt but I'm damned if I know what it is. That's how lupin narcoma works . . . no guilt!
Yours,
