Anaesthesia Means No Screaming

Dear ______,

Recently I have been contracted to write a series of articles for a senior citizen publication called Gerontal Gaiety.

I am interested in your views about its literary level. It has already passed the medical panel's inspection for technical accuracy.

ANAESTHESIA MEANS NO SCREAMING!!
The use of anaesthetics is a tiresome but necessary preliminary to many surgical operations. They prevent the patient from shouting and struggling while the surgeon attempts to perform his life-saving task.
There are two kinds of anaesthetics. There are "locals", where the patient is awake and can watch what is going on, either directly or through the use of mirrors. Thus, a patient who is interested can watch the surgeon cutting away at his stomach. He can pass comments if he likes.
Where patient participation is not required, a "general" anaesthetic will be used. This reduces the patient to unconsciousness for the duration of the operation and sometimes forever. Before the invention of anaesthetics, sharp blows were delivered to the head. Alternatively, large doses of alcohol were caused to be ingested.
It was in November 1847 that Dr Simpson first used ether and chloroform on his patients. As a humanitarian pioneer, he recognized that amputations and general surgery caused his patients some discomfort. It was this discomfort that was causing them to wriggle and scream.
Some surgeons simply used curare on their patients. This is a poison used by South American Indians to stun their prey. The patients would lie silent and motionless under the knife, paralysed but without losing any sense of feeling.
Nowadays, general anaesthetics are the norm, based on the developments of the last century. As the attached diagram shows, however, the equipments and procedures are extremely complex. It is likely that the NHS will return to the old tried and trusted curare method. However, they will dispense with the actual blow pipes in the operating theatres. They will use needles instead. This is further medical progress!!

Ed: Article provided to our readers on a "need to know" basis.